There are a lot of “wise mommy” blogs out there, that spout wisdom/stuff that is aimed at making you cry. I promise not to go down that path. But, the whole point of this is writing about and processing my reality. Today, that means that Bambino is headed to his first day in the Toddler room of his school.

What does that mean? First of all, he’s no longer a baby. He’s ready for more challenges, more responsibility, and more autonomy. Starting today, Bambino washes his own dishes after lunch (I kid you not). Part of me is thrilled that he’s flourishing. Another part is mourning the loss of that roly-poly peanut who kept me up at 3 AM.

Why? I don’t miss those wake-up calls. I certainly won’t miss diapers. Parents beseech their children to stay small forever. No. Please don’t. I work with disabled children. I have seen the challenges that arise when a child doesn’t grow and flourish. I wouldn’t wish that on you.

Instead, Bambino, do this:

Stay joyful. Jump in puddles. Marvel at butterflies. Laugh loudly. Give hugs in public.

Stay curious. Ask questions. Explore your world. Please do so with fearless abandon. Be open to new experiences, and accept that change happens.

Stay connected. Relationships matter. Kindness matters. Cut-throat is never a compliment. Hard-working and honest are.

You do all these things now. Please, keep them. These thoughts were ricocheting through my head as I made his lunch. Then, the big one hit me. How do I teach him this? By doing, right? Crap. That sounds like hard work.

How often am I joyful? Or curious? Or deeply connected? Why not? I need to take back my childhood. If I want him to keep all the stuff I cherish right now– the exuberance, the fearlessness, the vulnerability– I need to reclaim mine.

Here’s to truly taking baby steps.